"Through every dark night, comes a bright day after that."

Man, I keep having these crazy dreams. I feel like World War III could crack off at any time. I think the raprure is gonna kick off soon after the war starts too. I'm feeling distant from God again too. This time real distant. It's like I'm falling away from him on purpose, yet mad about it. I kinda know why too. Cause he won't leave me here if I'm supposed to go. So I kinda have to fall from grace to stay.

Part of me regrets saying I would stay, but that part is fear. I've had a strange inclination to make sure all of my survival gear is readily accessible, and feel like things could get real bad real quick.

I so badly want to keep all of this inside and not let anyone know, but I also have to put tidbits out there so after everthing goes down this stuff was written first. People aren't prone to believe anything and will ask "Well why are you still here?" and everything else doubtful men will ask.

More is expected of us than we want to accept. The lifestyle, the way we treat our fellow man. All of that. Most of us think that 50 cents we give that homeless guy is what it's about, but it's so much more than that.

I've had to see my son's lifeless body laying there twice now. Once in reality when he was still born, and I honestly didn't think he was gonna make it. Then again in my dreams at the time of the rapture. As sad as I was, it was comforting to know EXACTLY where he was. That eventually turned into a feeling of luck. Like my son kinda gets a free ticket. Lot's of children will, but for mine to be one of them feels good. He very easily could have been a grown man when this all went down. Then wouldn't get the grace of a baby or fool.